When Worlds Collide

I still maintain, “you get Christmas and Thanksgiving, and I get starving ourselves and sacrificing a ram?” The thing is as our marriage goes on these become OUR holidays and not the one sitting in on the others. Then I woke up this morning with a sign on the fridge from my husband, letting me know this is my holiday too. This Tabaski truly solidifies this for me. The clarity is I come from two different worlds. The “West” and all that comes with that, and the world where I am proud to be part my Arabic family. As we continue to navigate these two worlds as one in a respectful loving marriage, I am proud. I am a westerner and my worlds continue to collide and intertwine as I try to navigate it with love, chaos, confusion and an appreciation for people that were so foreign to me and experiences, holidays and deep connections I never knew I could have. Tabaski is celebrated throughout the Muslim world, mostly referred to as Eid. In Niger, we call it Tabaski.It follows the book of Abraham and a Ram, ideally is sacrificed. Food is spread to friends, family and those in need. The animal is killed humanely and honored in every way possible. People may sacrifice goat, cow, camel, whichever they can afford, but ideally it is a Ram. The capacity for people to come together and share such a beautiful holiday which makes most of us in the west squeamish. Unless you hunt or grew up on a farm! I would never have made the connection between 9/11 and Tabaski but the holiday falls by the moon and this year it was the same day. It really got me thinking. Reflecting. The “East” and the “West” exist in two different worlds and when they collide it is rarely positive. Our worlds need to collide for the better. Our friends who come to see our traditions and learn. Those who read up and learn about the Quran and what Islam truly is. Those who seek out knowledge and understand that ignorance is weakness and that we are kept separated through ignorance and lack of understanding, perpetuating fear. Today my husband teased me, the arabic women hose down the blood afterward. I teased him back, picked up that hose and got to it. There’s no turning back. I  took the ram by the legs and made this my holiday too. I can’t help but wonder if more of us had the opportunity to see and do these things, instead of having such a slight understanding from afar if this world just might be a better place after all. Eid Mubarak, and a happy and peaceful holiday to ALL Muslims around the world! 

Attempting to Adult

I recently went home for the first time since I moved to West Africa in January of 2014, 2.5 years ago. I wasn’t sure what to expect and actually wrote a blog post in anticipation of it, expressing my anxieties which I was so self conscious about offending people with, I later took it down from my blog. It’s no secret that going stateside is a source of very mixed feelings for me. Just as it is for many expats. As I sit here jet lagged at 4 am with no internet I decided it was time to write. In the past year I have blogged less than any other period since I began writing about my experiences abroad. A major factor in that is I have been pursuing a masters degree and it has been one of the most stressful, anxiety ridden periods of my life. With that said it has also been invaluable experience. The school I work for has invested in me and I am truly thankful for those who believed in me enough to give me the opportunity to better myself as an educator and expand my education and credentials. In the past year my priorities have shifted significantly. Not only did I get married and start a family of (fur babies) my own, but it has become clear to me what I want in life and more importantly what I don’t. Travel is in my blood. I get antsy easily and thrive on chaos. It’s not exactly a secret at this point. Everyones journey is different and mine just happens to be one that requires as many passport stamps as possible.

This summer was a whirlwind. Introducing my husband to the US for the first time and experiencing it through his eyes, catching up as much as possible with family and friends all while taking TEN exams and still being in school. I had to do a lot of adulting, which for lack of a better term, sucks. This whole international school teacher thing is not a game, it’s a career. I expect to pay my dues to get where I want in my life and career. This is it for me. I have a partner to share it with now, and we are strategizing to put ourselves in the best possible position to move forward in this lifestyle. With that said, it means making sacrifices. Being away for such a long time truly puts things in perspective. There is a lot happening in the US right now, and it is overwhelming for many Americans. This time around I noticed changes in myself. I am more cautious about sharing travel experiences. I also find pleasure in small things and expect less. I am not sure if that comes from maturity or from living in a country where we go without most of the creature comforts we often take for granted in the developed world. Quite likely it is both. I now see convenience and choice as a luxury. 

One of the first things we did when we got to Oregon was take a day trip to the Oregon Coast. while on the beach we met some lovely ladies partaking in a bachelorette party. They were curious about our life in Africa and we got to talking. One of them asked me what it is I missed most about living in the developed world, and the word “freedom” spilled out. It’s funny how such a seemingly casual conversation had such a profound impact on my ability to articulate my perspective. Living here is very much like being in a goldfish bowl. I am aware that I often miss being able to go sit in a park or a coffee shop or take a long walk, which is something I savor when I travel, but at this moment it really hit me. Freedom. I am not just talking about shopping and hiking and cafes. In many places in the world freedom is not a given. Nor is it a choice. As a westerner entitlement is a given. Freedom of speech, freedom to vote, freedom to vaccinate, there are so many freedoms we take for granted. In no way am I implying the systems are perfect, all countries have their flaws and certainly America is no exception.

 There are countless examples I could use, but for purposes of current events let’s talk about the election. America is more divided right now than it has been since most people living can recall. The prospect of the possible outcomes of our upcoming election has potential to be a pivotal moment in America’s history. Experiencing this from the outside looking in, and being stateside during the RNC and DNC, incited some inner rage, but also put many things into perspective. As dysfunctional and divided as America is at the moment, there is the added perspective of having just experienced a West Africa election for the first time. Here in Niger, there was an election in February. It was the second “successful” Democratic election in the history of Niger since it gained its independence in the 60’s from France. I use the word democratic loosely. In short, there were 16 different candidates running against the incumbent. One of which ran his entire campaign from prison. In the months leading up to the election there was tension and a supposed Coup attempt, which was never proved. In the end a second vote was set for March, which proved to be irrelevant due to the opposition having to be evacuated to France due to his declining health from his time in prison. There are other theories about how this all went down, but for purposes of publishing information and heresy publicly if you would like more information to make up your own mind on the subject you can access plenty of news articles about the elections with a simple google search. My point here is not to demean Niger, but rather to give some context and perspective to issues that people face throughout the world. Corruption and politics go hand in hand, that’s just the world we live in. 

Over the course of the last year I like to think I have grown and changed in ways that I am proud of. I feel proud of the life that I lead. I am not lucky, I have worked hard and I have created this  life for myself. I make a lot of mistakes and I am only human. There is a lot happening in the world right now. My own opinion is that things haven’t really changed that much, we are just more aware and issues that people have always faced throughout the world are making their way onto Western soil. As the beginning of the school year commences here in Niamey I am hopeful. I am looking forward to what the next year will bring. Although I am disappointed I did not get to spend as much time as I wanted with the people I value most in this world while I was stateside, I know that the foundations of those relationships are strong enough to hold strong until the next time our paths cross. As we grow older our priorities change. People enter different stages in their lives and with that relationships either hold strong or fade away. I am seeing that clearer as time goes on, and beginning to understand how my behaviors impact my life and the environment I create for myself is based on those I choose to surround myself with, or not. 

15 Things I learned in 2015

This year was a journey for me. I got married, visited some countries, worked a lot and learned tons about love, life, myself and this crazy world we live in. Since I don't believe in New Years resolutions, here are some words of wisdom from me to you from the year. In no particular order, here's what I learned in 2015: 

Hard Work pays off. Success feels best when earned. 

Save your voice, so when you use it people know you really mean it. 

You are not responsible for how you feel, only for how you behave. 

No matter how hard I try, I can’t save all the stray animals, but that won’t keep me from trying. 

Never be afraid to take a chance cause it might just be the best thing that’s ever happened to you. 

Instead of focusing on what you haven’t accomplished yet, celebrate what you’ve done. 

Be kind, even when you don’t feel like it. Maybe they were just having a bad day? 

Washing your underwear in the shower is genius.

Own your strengths instead of trying to be someone you aren’t. 

Santa is my favorite as A Cat or A Moroccan Man. 

If you feel like staying home that’s okay. 

It’s a big world out there. 

Be silly like no one's watching because who cares if they are. 

Placing expectations on people will only lead to frustration.

Marry someone who can make you laugh at yourself even when you're hangry. 

Happy New Year to all the Humans on Planet Earth. 

You Say Tabasco I Say Tabaski

After Ramadan I had prepared myself for the next big Muslim holiday of the year, Tabaski. It is where Muslims around the world sacrifice an animal, following the story of Abraham from The Quran. With the craziness of school and post grad school the holiday snuck up on me. Next thing I know it's a week away and I am frantically scrambling to make sure we have enough cash to buy our sheep. Once the cash was in hand Mohammed found or ram. I came home from school to a big, stinky, poop littering sheep. Unlike the Turkey we (meaning Mo) killed, and ate for Christmas I did not consider keeping him for a pet. I also learned from that experience and vowed to myself I would witness the entire process this time, including the slaughter. As an omnivore, who has spent time educating myself on the American system, where meat comes from, how it's done, etc. I love to get on my soap box and preach about how meat doesn't magically just appear in these perfect packages in the super market. Living in Asia, I made some progress with this, seeing the butchered animals in the market. I had never actually participated in, or seen the actually killing of the animal. When it was in my bathtub at Christmas time, I wanted nothing to do with it until the process was finished. Self- aware to see the borderline hypocrisy happening here, I honored that bird by cooking it properly and feeling an obligation to honor this animal while eating it. No love was lost between myself and the stinky sheep that made my kitchen smell like livestock in the morning when i went to get my coffee- his chosen hangout was that side of the house. It's possible I detached myself purposely knowing what was coming. So the day came. A few friends, of various denomiantions gathered to share in the tradition with us. I videotaped and took photos of the entire process for Mo and his family. This was his first time doing it on his own, and I felt a strong obligation to document and share with his family. The killing is done Halal. This means that the throat of the animal is cut quickly without severing the spinal cord, and drained of blood. It is humane and an important part of the Muslim belief to not consume any blood. As I watched, my consicous mind knew this was happening, however watching the spirit of a being drain from it's body, tears came to my eyes. After the sheep had passed, the muscles and nerves continue to contract, giving the appearance that the animal is running. Mo shared with us, that Muslims will say he is "Running to Allah" and is in heaven now.

The skinning must be done immediately, while the animal is still warm. This part I had no problem with. I took photos and was running around trying to help get whatever was needed. The butchering was done with the help of our guard and our American friend who grew up on a farm. She did a great job of coaching, while letting Mohammed run the show. All around it was the ultimate biology lesson. Ever.

Later that day we skewered and bbq'd the organ meat. Leaving the rest of the meat to dry out before being butchered. I ate what I could. Baby steps. I have tried lots of different foods, but you can only eat so many organs at once... After the day was finished and our friends had left it dawned on me how exhasuted I was. Between hosting, trying to be a support, talking to the family in morocco and attempting to take part in the process myself, I was spent. It was such a wonderful day and I couldn't have asked for it to go any better. I am so proud of Mo.

The next day we gathered to have a feast. In Niger the first day of Tabaski the animals, which can be sheep, goat, cow or camel, are strung up on x shaped lines and bbq'd. We did ours Moroccan style, so the feast came on Friday. Mohammed slow roasted the rack ribs, coating it in butter. It was amazing, we ate and ate and enjoyed the animal that had given it's life.

 Every part possible to use was used and overall the experience taught me so much about myself and the people around me. Taking that first step to watch the killing was huge for me in my evolution as a human who eats meat. I have second graders in my class who have seen it since they were able to walk, and wouldn't think twice about it, but as an American who came from an urban area, it's taking some getting used to.

Last year I was disapointed when I did not receieve an invite to celebrate with anyone here in Niger for Tabaski. Not long after, I went to Morocco where Mohammed and his Mom had saved some of the best meat from their sheep, and I was welcomed my first night with a "Tabaski" feast. A day or two before Tabaski this year, I decided to check out the hash tags on instagram to see what sort of things people post- and to get an idea for where the line might be drawn for what's appropriate to share for the world, and what's too gory. I was met with mostly images of women and their fabrics and designs, getting ready for the big day when one post stuck out to me. It was a photo of hot sauce somewhere deep in rural america. The hash tags were #tabasco #tabaski and I giggled to myself thinking about how this instagramer likely had no idea where his photo would end up being grouped. Just the same as I had never heard of Tabaski until I moved to Niger. Can you imagine that I ever would have been asking for cash to buy a sheep as fast as possible to get the best deal, or be slaughtering it in my driveway? It's amazing the things life brings our way, and part of the fun is the uncertainty of it all. I wish peace for all Muslims throughout the year, and especially on holidays.

What You Need to Know About Why I Love Niger

The Goats: Since the first week I moved here I am convinced; there are more goats than people in Niger. I am certain that there are more pressing matters to study, like hunger, famine and drought rather than goat to person ratio however there is no doubt in my mind. It’s true.

 Buying things on “Credit”: Niger is primarily a cash society. Some people have bank accounts but debit and credit cards just aren’t used. I have had countless experiences where I go into a store and underestimate the amount I have spent. The answer is always the same, write down your name and phone number and come back in a day or two to pay. This once happened to me in one of the larger grocery stores and I owed close to $40 USD. It was two days before I could make it back to pay my debt. Can you imagine going in to a Safeway and them telling you it’s no problem, just take your food and pay me when you can?! This is one of those examples of how the so called “first world” could learn a thing or two about humanity from the “third world.”

 The Laid Back Slow Pace of Life: This one is not always my favorite but in the end it’s a valuable lesson. Try to wrap your mind around the concept of being late as not being rude. As someone who has been perpetually 5 minutes late to everything my entire life with the exception of work, I have no problem with waiting a few minutes for someone. In Niger people often don’t show up for up to an hour without a text or phone call. Literally like you are sitting at a restaurant waiting for them. I am fairly certain this is true in other African countries, like Morocco. American etiquette considers this rude but the reality is the concept of time is subjective. There’s “Thai Time” and “Korean Time” but there’s nothing quite like “Niger Time.” Even with all my experience I sometimes get frustrated with this one because let’s face it, there are certain cultural norms that are engrained in us and we have to fight to be aware and overcome them. Neither is right or wrong, it just is. As I mature in my life I have come to a point where I prefer to be the one that waits for someone rather than the opposite. I am usually able to respectfully communicate to those I have relationships with if their concept of time is upsetting me, or if a mere text or phone call would remedy any frustration. In the end the lesson here is that learning patience and being more laid back is valuable in life and there are many of us who could stand to slow down and enjoy life a little more. Nigeriens certainly have this one down, and culturally they’re laid back, easy going demeanor is something I admire.

 If you know a Guy who knows a Guy you can Get Anything: Need a cord for your computer? Car part? Vegetables? A better deal on your car insurance for the year? To change some currency? Passport photos? All ya gotta do is know a guy who knows a guy. All it takes is a phone call and voile! You got it. Be sure to take into account the “concept of time” factor, instant gratification is rare but “the guy” will make it happen. Complete and Utter Chaos: I am convinced that if I were to create a “Grand Theft Auto Niamey” I would be a billionaire. You get extra points for goats. You have a choice when you drive in Niamey. You can take days off your life with high blood pressure or you can giggle to yourself about the utter ridiculousness of what you are encountering. I (almost always) choose the latter. A few examples, two men on a motorbike, with a goat and a sheep. A man riding a bicycle with a mattress on his head. A car or van piled high about the equivalent of a story high building with people and/or stuff. A herd of cattle, including ginormous bulls that would be chained up or at least be wearing a bell in other countries, A cart being pulled with large containers that are either gas, or water. Now take any one of these and put it into the middle of a roundabout where “the right of way” does not exist. Even better in the middle of a busy intersection while the power is out so there are no working traffic lights and it’s a free for all. Every driver believes they are the most important and need to be first so cutting someone off or driving around people in the wrong lane is just normal. In Reality, driving in Niamey is actually rather tame in comparison to other large West African cities that are more developed and populated. It’s the dudes with the mattresses and the goat traffic that make it so chaotic. It’s no secret that I love a little chaos so for me running errands is often just a form of entertainment.

 Learning What Patience Really Means: Nothing is easy here. Seriously, nothing. Convenience is just not a “thing,” at least for foreigners. You might know the guy that knows the guy and be fine with dealing with the chaos of driving to meet him, but it’s never going to be convenient or simple. When I travel to Europe now I am a perplexed at first when things are convenient again. It’s just the way it is and I no longer take modern conveniences for granted. I want to give you an example here but it’s literally just everything you do. Going out to buy groceries is an ordeal. Going to put credit on your internet at 11 am and they are closed, they say they are going to reopen at 3 but when you go back at 4, they are closed. As you read this you might be asking yourself why I see this as a good thing. It is the ultimate lesson in problem solving and patience. You learn to find ways around it. Make friends with the man who owns the internet store so you can give him a call and he will come down and recharge your internet for you. Be prepared that a “quick run to the store” is probably going to take 3 hours. When you have a recipe for something you want to make and it just doesn’t exist here, learn how to make it yourself. Adapt, learn, change and your definition of patience will be completely different.

 The People: Niger is an amazing place in a “bad neighborhood.” Al Qaeda, Boko Haram, “Bad Guys,” Yea, they’re here. I’m not talking about them. Bear in mind that the same rule applies in all countries: there are jerks and crazies everywhere, that’s just the world we live in. I am talking about day to day interactions with regular Nigeriens. The people here have hearts like I have never known. Once you earn respect and friendship with a Nigerien your problems are their problems. Your pain is their pain. They will literally give you the shirt off their back because they don’t need “things.” When you live in a place where people struggle for basic human needs such as food, water, and shelter that stuff doesn’t matter the way it does in the developed world. As outsiders we too often look at people in rural villages or poor countries and impose our own ideas about what we think they need. Or think to ourselves, “How sad, look at them that have nothing they must be so miserable.” Take a closer look and you will often see they don’t want us to build them toilets. I use this example because I recently learned that when toilets were built in a village the people didn’t use them and the well intentioned idea of eliminating raw sewage in the ground water was not solved, thus wasting resources and funding that could have been put to better use with taking the time to gain insight to what the people actually want. Basic necessities come first, always. I am not saying that people are perfectly happy when they have no clean water, are malnourished and dying of famine. My point is that less is often more and what people hold in their hearts, minds and souls is far more valuable than any “thing.” You name any NGO and they are here in Niger. The work they do is invaluable but if your intention is to come into a community and help them, take the time to ask them what they need before you decide for them. Remember that children are just as happy whacking things with sticks as they are playing on an ipad and mothers love their children the same bare naked playing in the dirt as they do at the park in a suburb playing on the swings. The saying “less is more” holds a new meaning to me I could never have imagined and I have the people of Niger to thank for that.

"That Girl"

I am the girl who travels alone. Fearless. Solitary. Independent. I always thought this would be who I was forever and sometimes wondered if it would cost me a chance at a husband and a family one day. Then just over a year ago everything changed. I met a man, on the street. Literally. That day my life changed forever. Our love story is not the focus of this post but rather how it has changed me without me even realizing it. It began when I went to visit him last October. I knew we couldn’t go 6 months without seeing each other again but I wasn’t willing to give up my Christmas break and forego a chance to travel. I am not “that girl.” As more time went by my heart won over my mind and I decided to stay in Niamey and have him fly down to spend the holidays with me in Niger. He had a return ticket to Morocco for January. A week after he arrived he proposed and has been here ever since. Skip to this summer. Same scenario. We should be spending time in Morocco with his family while we are only a 3 hour flight away, who knows which continent will be next. I struggled with this because I felt like I had already sacrificed exploring new countries. At first the compromise was we travel in Europe a bit and spend 2 weeks in Morocco. Then flights and visas got really complicated really fast. It turns out when you are from two different countries visas are tricky, and it works both ways. Take for example when we wanted to go to Ghana for spring break. He can go no problem. I couldn’t get a visa. In the end we settled on two weeks in Tunisia with its beautiful Mediterranean beaches, followed by a month in Morocco. A few weeks before we left I snuck in a week in the Canary Islands and the only reason I didn’t book him a flight was it meant a visa that’s too complicated for only a week long trip. Well you know what they say about making plans… The first four days in Tunisia were magical. Then Ramadan happened. Then Sousse happened. By the time we left we both felt like it was a bit of a bust. Things weren’t much better in Morocco because everyone is hungry and yelling in Arabic all the time. I was struggling. I decided to leave for the Canaries a week early, a decision we mutually supported. Now, here’s the part I didn’t see coming. I was physically affected by the absence of my fiancé. Unable to sleep, anxious, nervous, awkward, and probably the most unsure of myself I have been on a trip, well, ever. The best part is I was in a country where usually I feel the most at home. I still enjoyed my trip and my experiences but something had changed. I couldn’t even sleep in a bed, if there was a couch in my apartment I slept on it because it made me forget a little that I was sleeping alone. He did the same back in Morocco. I realized that I don’t want to do this alone. I want the adventure and the travel but I am not “that girl” anymore, because I don’t even know what “that girl” means. My life has changed in more ways than I realized but I have changed and that was the biggest revelation of all. Suddenly being on a beautiful beach or amazing volcano just made me wish he was with me. Even on our worst day I would take that over being there alone. A little perspective goes a long way. As our self evolves it’s a process, one that we are often unaware of. It’s like a child that grows two inches since the last time you saw them but when you say they’re taller their parents haven’t noticed because they see them every day. Once you remove yourself from your comfort zone, your day to day, whatever you want to call it, you have a chance to take a step back, and reflect. It’s all about perspective. I never imagined I would be 30 about to marry a man from Morocco living in Sub Saharan Africa. When I stop to reflect on everything that has led me to this point I see the evolution of my relationship. My relationship with myself, which in the end is the most important of all.

Mind Games

As I wandered in a busy shopping area in the city of Las Palmas in the Canary Islands I had a realization. For the first time, in a long time I forgot where I was. That's when it dawned on me how constantly aware of my surroundings I am in Niger. My summer hasn't proved much different with time spent in Tunisia and Morocco. Living in a place like Niger is difficult to put into words. I often have a hard time explaining it to people without sounding condescending. Like, "Oh you just can't understand unless you've been there," but the truth is there just aren't any words to describe it or compare. I know I have said this before, it's like another planet. How do you work that you drink your morning coffee while waiting for a bomb sweep into casual conversation? My time in Tunisia and Morocco this summer has been great but with Ramadan and constant Arabic it has been hard for me to truly relax. I'm just hungry all the time and I don't know what anyone is saying. Ever. Arriving in the Canary Islands proved to be a welcome mental break. My first day out I walked around the city and found the beach. I wore a dress, knee length and sleeveless. Out of habit I wore a cardigan to leave the apartment. As I walked down the street I realized it was 30 C which is practically 90 F and I didn't need it. No one cares. For once no one looks at me or pays any mind. I fit in here and nobody cares what I wear! The extremes went as far as a nude beach- Toto we are not in the Muslim world anymore. It got me thinking about the impact our environment has on the psyche. I have programmed myself to abide by the cultural norms of the society I live in out of respect for the people because I am a visitor in their country and quite honestly I don't want to give people any more reasons to stare. It got me thinking about my time in Korea. So many rules! What struck me the most once I left was how I continued to unconsciously use two hands when handing something to someone. After I left I continued this custom until I eventually had to train myself to stop when I realized it wasn't relevant anymore. I don't have to do this anymore. I can just relax. However, being back in Spain made me feel like an alien at first. The Internet actually works, I can just go sit in a park or a coffee shop, walk around with headphones and get on a bus to wherever I feel like whenever I feel like it. What is this place? Who are you people all half-dressed and modern? It's crazy but the longer you live in one of the least developed countries in the world the more disconnected you feel from the modern world. When I finally return to a developed country I feel this weird juxtaposition of comfort and familiarity along with confusion and awe. You mean I can just sit in a park? Just sit there and people watch? It feels so special like I have to be sure to appreciate everything I see and do because we can't take anything for granted in this life. As I gain more experience as an expat I am becoming more aware of the impact my experiences have on my psyche. This can cause anxiety, fear and loneliness which have no correlation to how developed a country is but are certainly some of the less glamorous side effects of choosing this lifestyle. I have this theory that if every person on this planet knew what it felt like to be the minority we would all be a lot nicer to each other. I remember when I lived in Thailand it used to drive me crazy to constantly hear "farang," Pronounced fa- long, their word for foreigner, that I would have to just put on headphones. It's not a good feeling to know people are talking about you but not know what they are saying. My best guess was they weren't saying, "Wow she looks like a really nice person." I recently had an experience in Niamey where a man made a scene because he was upset that the "white woman," his words, not mine, was being helped first when in reality it was just my turn, I had taken my number ticket and waited in line just like everyone else. I felt no ill will to him rather a sudden urge to go wait in the car to avoid a scene. It's not a good feeling when you are just a person trying to do everyday things. The reality is this is the world we live in and people are shaped by their environment and experiences. There is more truth to the saying "walk a mile in another man's shoes" than I ever could have imagined. My mental endurance continues to be tested and I wouldn't have it any other way. About a year ago I was talking with my mom about Niamey and complaining about something stupid. She just sighed and said, "C'mon Meggie you and I both know if it wasn't at least a little chaotic you would be bored and hate it." She is right. We often define ourselves by where we come from and our cultural norms. Coming to the realization that mine are constantly changing to the point where I am not even sure what they are half the time empowers me to continue to change my perspective and adapt.